Meredith's Blog

My bills have sat my desk, for 5 days.  For 5 days, “pay bills” was on my list of things to do.  When I actually got to the task, my bill paying took less than 20 minutes.  So what on earth took me so long to get this action completed?

This post isn’t really about paying my bills.  I am wondering out-loud about the odd process of procrastination, or disconnection and finding insights into the truth with the second menu item on The Joy Diet.

According to the book, one helping of truth consists of answering these five questions daily:

What am I feeling?

What hurts?

What is the painful story?

Can I be sure this is true?

Is my painful story working?

Can I think of another story?

The trajectory of these questions is elegant.  To weave from feeling to story to uncertainty to new story moves me from knowing to questioning to opening.

But I am finding the process is not exactly straightforward.

The Exercise

I did this exercise on the 5th day of the bill pay excursion, I noticed that I had done something very interesting.  Not with my answers, all of my answers were true.  But with the thing I was talking about.  I was focused on money and cash flow as I answered “What am I feeling?”.  But for the rest of my answers, I was focusing on the lack of quality relationships in my life right now.  Somehow, within the pattern of telling the truth, I could not tell the whole truth about money.

And here was where I got off track.  I couldn’t feel anything I recognized as “hurt” about money.  It was a blank spot.  But something was there.  Something distorted my ability to act (the procrastination), and my ability to feel (the blank spot) and even my thoughts (as I shifted to something I could feel).

The Payoff

This whole event took me a day or so to unravel.  I found a new part of myself, a battered little girl who utters no sound when she is hit, in order to protect her batterer.  I identified the raging internal conflict I had around money, too, with a little help.

I also had a completely brilliant, brand new idea about marketing my services that could solve the cash flow issue, and still leave me precious time to nurture my fledgling new internet business. Whoo Hoo!! Happy Dance!!  Yes!!  This is exciting beyond believe.  And I think I can make it happen!

I learned something new about myself, that sometimes I protect the most painful things, not with hurt, but by silence.

And yes, I got my bills paid.

In my balance book, I seemed to have come out way ahead because I dug down to find the truth about my bill-paying procrastination.  That seems odd, but I like this truth thing.

This post starts a weekly series of posts about gently, successfully getting your projects done without going crazy.  I found that I have a lot to say.

In case you are wondering, I am writing this for you if you are a creative person driven to make your amazing and cool idea into something real in the world.

But… when you do this, something isn’t working for you.   Either you have trouble getting your amazing ideas finished so that the world can benefit.  Or you are creative and driven and you kill yourself and/or ignore your family/life when you are coming up to the finish line. You get things done, but the cost is too high.

Either way, you are looking for a new way to get your amazing ideas into the world – a way that is both successful and balanced.

Let’s get started.

One Simple Thing

There is one simple thing that will help you succeed with a project. But almost everyone forgets to do it.  It is almost like it is a secret.  The downside of this thing being secret, it that if there was just one thing you could do to increase the sucess rate of your project, this is it.

“Oh, wait”, you say. “I don’t have a project (icky, icky poo-poo). I have a (sacred, awesome, clean, clear) vision of what I want to create. It is bright, shiny.  It is amazing, beautiful.  It will save the planet.  It will solve world hunger. It is my life’s opus.  It calls to me.  I can see it so clearly…”

Hold it right there.  I need to tell you something about visions.  They are awesome.  I agree.  I have several myself.  They are a guiding light to move towards.  But visions are not projects.

Projects are the creative force on a deadline. Projects help us take some of that amazing vision and give it form in the real world.

Visions live in an unlimited time and space.  Visions and creative spark are given status because they come from “beyond”, somehow they seem to come from the sacred.   Projects are the other side of the coin.  They are the work that it takes to bring that thing from the “beyond” into the right here, the right now.  Projects help us create some part of that vision in our own bounded world.

Usually, before the vision or creative spark or inspiration, there was a problem – something that irritated or was painful.  Remember back to that moment before the vision, remember the pain for a moment.  Since the focus on this blog is helping you work better, the pain involves your business.  Do you want to help your clients in a new way?  Do you want to reach a different group of people?  Do you need to smooth out the highs and lows in your income stream?  What is the original problem?

The Three Secret Questions to Ask Before You Start

Here is the first secret question.  What problem do you want this project to solve? If it is a big vision, what small, manageable part of the problem do you want to start with?

Sometimes your vision is small enough that you can plan a single project to bring it into the world.  I have a vision of a clean and orderly garage.  That I could do in a single weekend project.   Some visions need a very big project or even a series of projects.  Building a new house and moving in is a really big project that has a lot of stages.   Then, there are visions that take a lifetime of projects.   This category includes problems on the order of eliminating world hunger (or war), stabilizing the ocean reefs, or finding cures for cancer.

Next, ask two more questions.   Both, in a way, have to do with you, the person who owns the project.  The next question is this:  How critical is the problem? If you commit to a project that creates a solution to this problem, how much difference will it make? How big will the impact be?   We aren’t just talking about urgency.  We are talking about spending time and energy to create a solution and make a difference to your business – to your message – to the people that you serve.   Ask yourself how much difference it would make to solve all of, or part of this problem.

Finally, ask: How much time/money can you spend on it (do you want to spend)? If your problem is urgent and critical, you will be tempted to spend a lot of resources to solve it.  Or if the vision/creative inspiration is really strong.  But we live in a world that is bounded by limits of time and limits of resource.   Here’s the truth.  If we want to create something new, we still need to honor the limits of the place where we live.  We live with family, we have friends, we have bodies that need taking care of, we have a business to maintain.  Projects that grow our business shouldn’t take all of our resources, unless we are just at the very beginning.  So, how much time/money do you have to spend, and still maintain your balance.

I dare you.  Try it out.  Take one problem that needs a project to solve it, and find the answer to these three questions.  See what happens.

Next Wednesday: Project Planning for Creative People in Business

6-week teleclass starting October 6th

My next ten Friday posts will be focused on The Joy Diet by Martha Beck.  I decided to join the creative and inspiring Jamie Ridler’s blog writing group simply because I wanted more joy in my own life and my own work.  I am pretty sure that I will learn something of interest each week.

“Nothing”

The first week of the practice of Joy was “nothing”.  Fifteen minutes of nothing per day.  That is — the nothing of sitting and breathing, a.k.a. mindful meditation.

A Series of Gentle Hints

Now, I am not new to meditation, although I don’t have a formal practice (hint #1).  I started with Transendental Meditation in the late-70s (anybody remember TM?).   But right now – my life and work and head are filled to overflowing with stuff to do.  And to my dismay, I couldn’t fit even 15 minutes of “nothing” into my days.

As the matter of fact, time and time management kept coming up all week.  In the Self-employment TeleSummit forum presided by the wise and amazing Molly Gordon, I noted that I wanted a kitchen timer during one of my morning checkins.  After two days, I backed out (hint #2), that I would just “be mindful”.  Molly noted, with a small smile in her words,  that the timer could be thought of as  a tool to foster mindfulness.

On IttyBiz.com, the guest post topic was the Daily No Excuses Target, in which Ali Hale talked about the thing that she did every day, no matter what, to reach an important goal.  Laudable, noble, but it struck me as harsh and regimented and without compassion – ickky and ugly and not-my-style.  I instantly thought of 100 reasons why it would be ok not to get that daily thing done (hint #3).

Then my Thursday turned to shit.  Master blaster headache.  And so many things on my daily list left to get done.   And so I wanted to work late.  I didn’t – the headache stopped me.  But it would have just made things worse the next day.

I just didn’t have enough time, and my belly started to hurt, too.

(That wasn’t a hint; that was a smack up side the head.)

The Other Shoe (Finally) Drops

Oh.  Wait.  Are there connections between my mental excuses habit, my addictive need to accomplish something, my habit of working until my brain is fogged and my eyes and back ache?

Do my habits betray that I believe deep down that time is scarce?  That there is really not enough time?  That I must horde it, squeeze it, manage it, save it, master it — all in the name of productivity?

Yes – I know there is limited time — 24 hours blah, blah, blah.

But I also know that time is elastic. OK – not the minutes themselves.  We humans have seen fit to fix the number of seconds in the day just so we can count them.

But my productivity is a result of my mind, my focus, my creativity and connectedness to my task within the time that I focus. What I get done is not limited to the minutes.  It is limited to my mind.  Oh, wow. Let me say that once more.

What I create is not limited by physical minutes.  It is limited only by the quality of my creative mind.

Creative and productive results don’t have a one to one correspondence with minutes spent.  In one hour, I have written a better post than the post I sweat over for an agonizing day.

How can I do that more often?

Oh, yes.  Creative brain training.  Starting today, let’s try that practicing “nothing” thing.

I’ve been talking a lot about working with Nature, and I haven’t  given any real examples.  Some work I did today is instructive.  I presented an issue to Nature, and ask for help.  This is what happened.

Tomorrow is my first time as a guest on an hour-long conference call.  All week I have been vaguely nervous and I haven’t been able to figure out why.  Sometimes when I run into stuckness, I can just tough it out, but this time it felt as if it would be helpful to sit down with Team Nature (associated with my business) and have a conversation.

Me: “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m having a really hard time writing posts this week.  And when I write them, I’m really critical, even more than usual.  I can only see the flaws.  I keep having these tiny hit-and-run thoughts that I don’t know what I’m doing, that I’m no good as talking and explaining all this work with Nature stuff.   I don’t know what’s going on, but things don’t feel right.  Is there something I can do, or you can do?”

Team Nature: “Sure.  It looks like we will need some backup.  Why don’t you connect with your own Balanced Health Team, too.  There is some work they will need to do as well.”

Me: “No problem.”   (Pause while I do the extra connection thing, and focus inward to what I feel in my body.  As we continue in the conference, I talk to Nature about what I feel, and what thoughts are coming up. )

Me: “I can feel things unwinding. Oh – I’m scared.  I didn’t know that. What am I scared of? Hmmm.  Oh this is big, really big.  I’m scared to be your messenger.  It’s too much.  I’m too small.  I won’t do it right.   Nobody will be able to hear me, ’cause I can’t say it right.

“Maybe they will just think I am crazy.  But, darn-it.  If this is crazy, I am really glad to be here. Being sane – if that is what it was -  was just awful – like every step I took was onto broken glass with my bare feet.  I like working with you – things fit together so much better.”

(I lay on the bed, feeling the energies around these issues clearing, and my core unwinding.  My pelvis and belly and solar plexus kept shifting and releasing.  I didn’t know what was leaving, but over the next 20 minutes I kept crying and feeling lighter and lighter.

I remembered some times as a kid, when I gave momentary voice to things that I felt strongly about (specifically, going to girl scout camp one summer and saying my prayers only in private).  Both times, I was shut down really hard by my mom and learned that my passion was not to be voiced.

As Nature helped clear out the stuck energies around these memories, I was/am free to make different choices about when to express things that I feel deeply about.)

Teams Nature, gently: “You know, it isn’t your words alone that will touch people.  Each person has their own relationship with Nature.”

Me, with a smile: “You mean I don’t have to be perfect?  That’s a relief.  You know I’ve never had something that I wanted to talk about so much, to share with everyone.  In some ways I haven’t said anything really important.  Talking about this work – I think it can change the world, at least for the people that can hear it.   I can see now why I was holding me back.   Thanks.”

Epilogue

Seems simple, huh.  Well it is.  It was an elegant solution to a problem that could have taken weeks or months to get over using my will – just release some old stuck energies around some childhood memories.   And I am left to choose a new pathway.   Done.

Well, we will see what the call is like tomorrow.  But tonight, I have connected to that certainty – that sense of rightness.  And I am not afraid.

I would like to add that working with Nature isn’t spectacular most of the time.  It isn’t an adrenalin rush or war-like or a quick fix to any problem.   In general it is quiet and simple and unassuming.  However, the results are often quietly miraculous.  Yep, that would be right.

First, An Announcement

First, let me tell you this really quick.  I will be talking about Working with Nature on Wendy’s Your Web Coaches monthly free conference call at 10am Pacific, Thursday, Sept 24th.  Go sign up.

Now, back to this post.

I don’t actually expect you to believe everything that I say here today.   Certainly, I cannot prove any of it.  That’s a very uncomfortable position for someone raised by a scientist and trained as a scientist.

On the other hand, all this seems to work for me, and I’ve been experimenting with it for over 10 years now.  Amongst other things, I have discovered that I kinda like living an unscientific life.  Way more interesting.

Statement: Nature is Intelligence

What’s Nature like?  Nature knows how everything fits together and how everything stays balanced.  Nature knows how to be…

• Interconnected.
• Fecund/Fruitful/Prolific.
• Balanced.

We can see that in the natural world pretty easily.  It gets a little harder to see in the parts of the world where humans have a lot of impact, but you can still get a sense that things are interconnected and working to try to stay in balance.

Statement: Nature is Everywhere, Even in the Most Human-Designed Gizmo

Let’s think about a car engine.  I can’t think of a more Human designed Gizmo.  Surely Nature isn’t there. Or, is it?

But think about it.  An engine is very much designed using information that we have learned from nature.  What happens when petroleum gets hot and a spark is applied?  What happens when a gas is exploded?  What happens when one piece of metal is pressed against another?  All of these things were first observed in nature.  Then humans designed and built an engine to produce power to move a car.  That was the designer’s only thought back then.  His only requirement.

Humans didn’t really ask about innerconnectedness, or balance.   And we didn’t think about asking Nature to help, so, we got what we asked for.

What would happen if we asked Nature to help us build a personal transport device that was in balance with everything else, and interconnected, and fruitful?  I have no idea what a fruitful car would be like, but that’s the point isn’t it?

Time to take a breath.  Close your eyes for a second, and see how that information sits.  What feels true without more information? What questions arise?

Premise: Nature’s Intelligence Lies Within Your Business

Now – down to our own lives, and our businesses.  The way that we put our heart and our authenticity out to the world.

Do you have any idea what a balanced business would look like in your life?  I don’t.

Even with my work with Nature, I notice that what I still do naturally is struggle.  I struggle to learn more.  I struggle to get enough done in a day, a week, a year.  I struggle to make more connections. I struggle to make my communication more clear, my services more unique, and more remarkable.  I still want things (and myself) to be perfect, and easy.

And I talk with others in forums or in workshops who are trying to grow their business bigger or put themselves out to the world.  Some want to get their websites up, some want to grow their client list, some want to launch their next info product.

What if we just ask our business what it needed to grow in a balanced, interconnected, vital way?   It might take a while to learn how to work with Nature.  But wouldn’t it be worth the investment to work towards a balanced business, a balanced life and, (oh yes, incidently) a balanced world?

Let’s pause again.  Close your eyes, take a breath.  What would your business be if it was more balanced, more like Nature?

Premise: We (Humans) can Communicate with Nature

Is this really possible?  If I had to guess, I would say that Nature uses our body as its communication pathway.

I’d say that all of these are potential methods of communication: Mindfulness.  Intuition.  Inner Sense of Knowing.

I’m not an expert, but all that I have learned as a healer suggests that our bodies are pretty sensitive about knowing what is right for us individually.  People (and their bodies) vary, of course, so each of us may learn to communicate in different ways.

If you want to work with Nature as your partner, I’m pretty sure that Nature can find a way to communicate with you.  And it has been my experience that Nature is very interested in working with us.

So, Where Do You Go From Here?

At this point you will either think one of three things.  First, you may think that I am a “whack job”, you may be interested but sceptical, or you may be so excited you can’t stay still.

If you don’t believe anything I’ve said here, thank you for reading to the end.  You can go now, it’s ok.  You don’t need to read any further. Best wishes with your business.

If you are interested (or interested and sceptical),  I would love for you to attend the Your Web Coaches free conference call at 10am Pacific, Thursday, Sept 24th.  Go sign up.

And you should stay in touch.  Leave a comment or just email me (meredith.mycurtin(at)gmail.com).  I’ll be talking more about this stuff here on the blog, and also offering classes that focus more on the “how-to” instead of “why”.

In any case, talk to you later.

Meredith

Why An Idea Should Touch Your Heart

Yesterday we talked about verifying that an idea touches your heart before you commit to bringing it into the world.  There are two reasons for that.

The practical reason is that if you have taken some time to connect with an idea from several different perspectives, then there is more detail – more 3D-ness – more fullness to the idea.  You simply have considered it from more angles.

The intuitive reason is that an idea that touches your heart, in addition to being a bright and shiny idea, is connected to more parts of you.  It is connected to your mental and  emotional selves, in your left and right brain.  And there is also a connect to your business and to the people that your business serves.

Balanced interconnectedness is charged with power.  When you hit the confusing spots and the challenging spots, you can tap into that power to continue moving forward.

The Best-Intentioned Blog

Let’s take an example from my own recent experience.  I started this blog in January, 2009.  It was a bright, shiny idea.  I wanted to blog and start a business and learn about being self-employed.  (By the way, if you didn’t notice, however well meaning I was, I was not clear or focused.)  In January, I published 4 posts and then fizzled.

In June and in August I published twice more each month.

In the first 17 days of September, I have published 11 times.

What happened?

At the end of July, I formed a partnership to create a teleclass (starting in early October).  My business site isn’t up yet, so my blogging to connect with my right people for that class has to happen here.

Now I have focus.  The driving purpose of this website is clear, and it is connected to my heart’s purpose.

There is another reason that being clear is helping the momentum.  I have mentioned that I conference with Nature to work with my business and my projects.

To Nature, the idea of my blog is a seed. However I, the human partner, play a vital role in defining that seed.  Until  I am clear about the purpose of that seed, then there is confusion.  And the confusion causes too many choices.  (That drives me crazy.)

Here’s the problem: My blog could be a learning tool.  My blog could be a personal journal of starting a business.  My blog could be a place of self-expression and/or self-reflection.   Trying to be all of those things causes a disharmonious, patched-together blog.

Now that my blog has a purpose – to teach solopreneurs and small business owners what they need to know about managing their own projects – the power of Nature adds to the momentum.

Harmony – Good Business

Now my blog posts happen.  I’m happy.  I’m teaching my thing.  My right people have a place to come learn about my thing.

Clear purpose leads to harmony – it’s just good business.

Bright, Shiny Idea

So, you have a perfect idea for your right people.  They would just love it.   But…

Hold it.  Take a moment and see what happened then.  Your idea was all bright and shiny and amazing, and your head started to find reasons it couldn’t (or shouldn’t) do it.  Reality.  Constraints. Stuff.

Now is that any way to treat a really amazing idea.

Give it some space

Let’s go back a second.  You have a perfect idea for your right people.  But, ideas that are perfect in your head may not as good a fit for you or your business.  The first question to ask is, is good enough to spend a few creative moments with?   In this case good enough might mean:

Is it fun for you?

Is is good for your people?

Does it feel good in your heart?

Still don’t think about the plans or constraints – that comes later.  The first question to ask your new idea is “Do you feel really good, deep down?”

But it takes some time to sit with it.  If it is an idea that really fits into your heart’s business, then it deserves a little time to feel the resonances.

Just sit with it.  Hold it in your hands.  Feel the polished parts, and the not so smooth parts.  As you sit with it, it may change a little – or a lot.   Ideas respond to attention.

You may want to mind map or draw it out or write about it a little.  It might have a feeling of how big an impact it could have in the world.  It may have a feeling of connection to you in particular.

Choose: Forward? or Let Go?

And in the end, there is the final question.

Is this idea something I want to bring into the world?  Is it worth my time and attention?

The idea that touches you deeply in your heart, that is the idea worth following.

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If you are looking for 6-week teleclass that starts Oct 4, 2009 on The Gentle Art of Making Money with Your Blog, here’s the link.

Remember when…

This weekend was filled with family, exuberent neices (8-14 years old), Dad’s house, filled to the brim with memories, an annual Curtin golfing event (family tradition) and the annual local craft fair.

I didn’t grow up here (it’s complicated); but I have visited by car year after year after year.

I don’t know what you did on car trips way back when, but there were no ipods or satellite radios or GPS.  My first car didn’t even have a cassette player (remember those?).  And my singing voice only lasts so long.  What I did was think, and, of course, I planned the perfect world.

A Perfect Plan Leads to a Perfect World

I can remember one drive home through the Tennessee mountains, I planned a perfect world.   It involved studying 6 hours every day, and cooking my own dinner in the dorm (Mac & Cheese and spagetti and Peanut Butter) to save some money, and getting all my papers drafted a week before they were due, so I would have time for revisions.  Of course, there was no plan for TV or goofing or anything fun.  With hopeful energy, I had planned a perfect world.   And, at the end of the trip — POOF – my plan evaporated.

Plans and lists – they have always been with me.  They come up to me, whining for attention, wanting to be taken care of, to be taken seriously.

In the early days,  they tried to get me to believe thay if they weren’t fed and fat and happy – if I didn’t immediately pay attention, if I didn’t spend all my waking hours checking them off, then I was a bad mom.   Then they tried to make me believe that they were the way to be perfect.

[NOT]

Let me tell you their dirty little secret.  Plans and Lists LIE. The world will not fall apart if you don’t attend to them 24/7.

Frankly, the world might be better if every second List and Plan across the land was just deleted.   (off with their heads… poof!)

The Queen Requests…

Since I first noticed that I planned and listed far more than I could accomplish in 15 lifetimes, my releationship with that brain quirk has shifted to something more comfortable.  I try to take a sovereign’s view: that  Lists and Plans are my subjects, to serve me and my queendom.  Here is what I ask them:

• Do you help us be safe and well?
• Do you help us grow or learn or create something fun, interesting, or useful?
• Are you connected with our heart?
• Are you in some way helping us heal our Planet-home?

What do you think?

(By the way, eventually they got used to it, and my plans and lists are happier now. )

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Check out the upcoming teleclass Gentle Art of Making Money with Your Blog.

Creation, With a Deadline

All projects come with a portion of the crazies.

Projects, by definition, are how we create something new.  There are art projects, construction projects, book projects, software projects, house projects, self-improvement projects.  And all these projects have something in common.  At their core, they want to bring something new into the world. Another thing they have in common is a deadline.

One of my active project is for my new business, The Project Nanny.  I am preparing for a teleclass to help new WordPress bloggers to take their next step to making money with their blog.  Since Wendy, my co-teacher, and I know that biggifying can be difficult, we have designed this class to be as gentle as possible.

The Part Everybody Forgets

The part that we forgot (because nobody ever wants to remember this part) is that this class is biggifying for us, too.  So we need gentleness and we need to get things done in a timely fashion.

When I took on this project, in my head I thought, “Easy.  Some instructions, a few phone calls.  Peice of cake.”  The reality is that I have had huge learning challenges.  Writing landing pages.  Social media.  Having relationships online (yikes!!).  Daily blogging.  Marketing plans.  Fear.  Girl in the closet issues.

So – Wendy and I still have a deadline – the dates of the class are published.  And in three and a half weeks we will have a class.  Right now, I expect that there is much panic and fear to go through.

But here’s the thing.  Panic and fear is no reason to stop.

What’s the Worst that Could Happen?

In this case, the worst that could happen is that no one takes the class.

Even in the case of total failure of the class itself, some other things will have happened as well.

• Wendy and I will have worked together on a project.
• I will have a bigger, cleaner social network than when I started.
• I will have blogged every work day for a month.
• We will have the basis for a home study course that we can sell.
• I will have been a guest on one free teleconference with Wendy , and hosted one of my own.
• I will have a lot of experience with the technology of getting my message out.

That’s what I get if I fail miserably to attract people to this class.  Hmm…  Maybe that isn’t so bad.

It is too soon…

It is too soon in our relationship for this post.  We don’t really know one another very well.  But here it is.  The only thing that I can blog about today is how hard it is for me to blog today.

It is relevant to all of our projects, you know.  If we have a project that stretches us bigger in any way, then at some point, we will come to a place where we don’t want to do something.

The Girl in the Closet

And that is me right now.  I am sitting here, next to a closet with the door a little open.  Inside there is a little, hungry girl. She wants attention. She is ravenous for someone to simple notice.  She dreams of coming out of her closet, into the world, and finding friends, and being a superhero.  But she is terrified to come out of the closet, because she is afraid that no one will notice her.

This week, I committed to writing a daily blog post for The Project Nanny for the rest of this year.  The daily blog is part of my marketing subproject.  It is a strategic peice of connecting to my right people.  I can’t not blog today, because if I don’t then it will be even worse tomorrow.

I just didn’t know that this little girl in the closet would come to me today, and stop me in my tracks.

Really, she isn’t beside me.  She is inside.  Her chest is tight, her breath is shallow and it smells funny.  She is skinny – to the point where her bones are uncomfortably sharp.  And she sits on the floor of the closet all folded up, with her wide eyes looking straight at me.  Her eyes speak of her longing louder than the wisper of her voice.

I have opened up a conference with Nature, to help clear enough space for the two of us to talk.   Nature helps me to clear a space in my mind where the two of us can go to talk.

I have found out that she is dying for attention.  And she is really scared that no one is coming to the blog to read it.  She is afraid the blog is useless. That our words and thoughts are useless. That she is useless. That we are useless.  She is also afraid that people will be mean.

In reply, I have offered to ask my Kitchen Table friends to come to my blog and then to say nice things.  She likes Havi, and says “OK.”  (Havi has taught us both much about simply asking for what we need.)

Now we only need to write the post for today.  We talked about the topic, several ideas have been floating around.  And this was the only topic that she wanted me to write about. Nothing else felt real.  I see that she craves the light even as she cowers in the shadows.

Lesson Learned: I Can Do More Than I Thought

So, here is my lesson learned for today: if the purpose of a project is important enough to my heart, I am willing to do something I didn’t think I could.  Like I said in the beginning, it feels risky to write this post – too early in our relationship, you, my right person and I.

I have to say, I never thought that having my own business was actually a spiritual path.  But I am finding out that it is.  I want this business to work from the deepest place in my heart.  It is committed to help people have an easier time with their biggification process.  Heaven knows, biggification is enough of a challenge, even without the stuckness on a little tiny peice of the project crazies.

So, to all who are on the biggification journey to bring your heart’s work to the world, this post is for you and, of course,  your own shadows.  Welcome.